I think its very clear that I have been watching too many slightly romantic indie dramas on Netflix.
Typically, I'm a reader. I feel like there is nothing better than spending days lost in a novel only to come up for air on the final page feeling like something in your life is significantly different, or maybe even better, for just having read it.
There are more than a few movies that do that to me, too.
Everyone at some point in time imagines what their life would be like if it were a movie. Who would play them? Would it be interesting? What genre?
For some reason, I feel like I would be just like one of the main characters from one of these indie films. I'd be the protagonist who is pondering the meaning of life without even knowing it. The lost soul, seemingly intelligent with their extensive vocabulary, who only comes to realize how little they truly know about the world when they meet that charming, daring, beautiful stranger who makes them question everything they've come to believe in.
But, here's the rub: People don't exist like this.
They are written so that we believe they do. They can't be beautiful and intelligent and have their lives together, no, that would be boring. So they all have their flaws, which are somehow made whole when another person shows them just what they are missing. They SEEM real. But let's be honest.
They are written to be imperfect in the most perfect of ways.
If my life was like one of these movies, I wouldn't be in the position I am right now. I wouldn't have several storylines going on at once. I wouldn't be depressed AND unemployed AND overweight AND motherless. That would be too much for a 2 hour plot line to address.
Who would want to watch that character, anyway? There is no epic love story, no life changing realization at the end of the story. It just continues...because that is life. Life doesn't work itself out neatly in some predetermined time frame. It just goes on. Your day was terrible? Sorry. Do better tomorrow.
I wasn't going to make a resolution this year, but today, one came to me. It's pretty simple, yet something I have never really thought of.
I'm going to start living my life for myself. I am going to take accountability. I'm going to stop placing blame, on God, on life, on Circumstances. And, most importantly, I am going to try and be more appreciative of what I DO have, rather than wallowing in the absence of what I'm missing. I have friends. I have love. I have a roof over my head, a brain in my skull, and the drive to succeed.
Life is truly what you make of it.
C'est La Vie
